Restoring Discipline

Restore: to rebuild and renew, or to bring back into existence.

There are five children in my house, all different ages , all different personalities, so there is much correction and training that goes on at our house. Discipline is a vital part of parenting. I am always thinking and praying about how to train my children. Here are some things I have been pondering;
When a wrecking ball is used to demolish a house, the purpose is to destroy, and there is no hope to rebuild. It is violent. Is my response to the children's sin similar? Do I use a wrecking ball when I discipline? Or do I use a restorative tool? A carpenter who restores an old home does it gently and carefully. The goal is not to destroy but to bring beauty and restoration. It is slow. It is tedious. However, the carpenter sees a promise of beauty and purpose. Proceeding carefully, so as to not crack or ruin what is precious and rare, his progress is slow.
How do I respond to my children, these unique and precious gifts from God? Does my discipline resemble the ruthless machine? I admit I am a wrecking ball at times. I crash in, not wanting to hear the whole story, angry or annoyed, and thoroughly tired of dealing with the same issues. I am quick to judge. My wrecking ball responses are seldom restorative. We may have a "right" to be upset, and it is our job to correct, but it is not our job to destroy. Our God restores, He does not strike me with lightening when I sin. He sees the beauty in me, and gently refreshes me.
I want to be a restoring mother. I want to use tools that restore, not rip apart. Kindness, gentleness, understanding, physical touch, and forgiveness, these are the things I need. I may not wreck very often, but am I careful? I don't want to even crack what is special. So, what am I doing to crack those precious ones? There are some things I am not aware, but there are many things I am aware of. Impatience, hurry, business, all these things give me less time to restore. Jesus, the master carpenter, was a restorer. He had compassion, told story after story, met physical needs, and was always pointing to the Father. Am I restoring with hope? Do I see the beauty under the bad attitude? I admit I often feel like some behavioral issues will never change. I need to pray for the grace fix my eyes on what is unseen (2 Cor. 4:18), believing that we are always being changed, all of us, into His likeness (2 Cor.3:18).

This is what I want for my home, my children, myself. A place of restoration, a place to rebuild, renew. This is my prayer, that I will be gentle and restore with hope.

These thoughts were sparked by a great devotional given to me by my dear friend Kathy:
Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp.


Psalm 23:3
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Psalm 80:3
Restore us, O God make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved.

Isaiah 57:18
I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him,

Zechariah 10:6
I will strengthen the house of Judah and save the house of Joseph. I will restore them because I have compassion on them. They will be as though I had not rejected them, for I am the LORD their God and I will answer them.

1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

from the archives