Lay down your burdens

It is early morning and I am tired and frustrated. I have spent the last two nights tossing and turning unable to sleep. I keep worrying about all kind of things. My life is busy right now, my oldest three are in a musical and the next three weeks consist of late nights and long days of rehearsals. I have many details to work out, a messy house, and unfinished home school lessons. I chatted with a lady yesterday who told me her family had completed all their home school lessons and would be done next week. That immediately made my heart sink. That is not our reality here at the Brown home school. I worry about changes ahead , my eldest has one more year of high school, we have been talking about colleges. I want with all my heart for him to do what God wants for his life, and I also want with all my heart for him never to grow up! Church changes, relationship changes, loneliness, missing Julie. I toss and turn in bed , running things over in my mind. Like some mental hamster wheel. Worry, prayer, worry , prayer, lay it down , pick it up. What seems manageable in the daytime seems overwhelming at night.
So I get up and make a cup of tea and read Isaiah. The verses I have underlined and read over and over again. It is an often traveled path.

In repentance and rest is your salvation
in quietness and trust is your strength (Is. 30:15)

Surely this our God, we trusted in Him and he saved us (Is 25:9)
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you (Is 26:3)

There are so many more verses. Often at times like this I long for a quiet space , I want to freeze frame my life and have a space of time to think, order my world. But I never have big chunks of time and life is always like this. I want to leran to find peace and joy in the midst of this season and the many seasons that will come. These verses encourage me and bring my focus where it needs to be on Him. I may need to read them again in 10 minutes.
So I will rest, and trust and lay down these burdens. I will keep coming back to these words as many times as I need to and I will pray.



Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child
Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child

Cause I can walk on water ..
Calm a restless sea
I've done a thousand things you've never done
And I'm really watching
While you struggle on your way
Call on my name, Ill com

I give vision to the blind
I can raise the dead
I've seen the darker side of hell
And I've returned
I've seen those sleepless night
And Count every tear you cry
Some lessons hurt to learn

Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child
Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child
-Amy Grant

Thoughts

Things I am pondering and praying about today...

Four Steps That lead to Peace
1. Be desirous of doing the will of another , rather than thine own
2. Chose always to have less, rather than more
3. Seek always the lowest place, and to be inferior to every one.
4. Wish always , and pray that the will of God may be wholly fulfilled in thee.
- from Stepping Heavenward ., E. Prentiss ( a book I am reading with Anna)

And this....
Seek nothing for yourself
Stand ready to serve
in quietness,demanding nothing, expecting nothing
sacrificing and praying without anyone knowing
Silence

Silence
Silence
(from island of the World, Michael D. O'Brien)