Giving Thanks

I desire....

to live joyfully,

to live intentionally,

to live simply,

to live with love and peace.



not worrying about the things I cannot control. Praying about them instead.



I am grateful today for......

186. great friends
187. twenty plus years of shared memories and laughter
188. the warm Arizona sun
189. my wonderful mother in law
190. coming home
191. my own bed
192. family prayer
193. kindred spirits (my friend Lisa)
194. spring in Michigan
195. His grace sufficient for me.

Multitude Monday

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.(Khalil Gibran)

Praise the Lord , O my soul : all my inmost being praise His holy name . Praise the Lord , O my soul and forget not all His benfits (Ps. 103:1,2)

Some mornings I wake up and think "another day" and then my mind starts listing all the things I have to get done today. I get out of bed and do not even give thanks for the fact that I have been given another day to live, breathe, love. I forget His benefits. We take so many things for granted in this life we lead. So today I give thanks to the giver of life, love and all blessings.

177. flowers blooming

178. green grass

179. a nice chat with a dear friend

180. forgiveness of sins (He does not treat our sins as they deserve-Ps. 103:10)

181. The first trip of the year to Dairy Corner for ice cream

182. A rainy day, a big couch filled with family, five hours of Pride and Prejudice while eating homemade short bread

183. Me, not worrying that math was not getting done (see above)

184. beauty

185. another day to love and love

Happy Birthday to Anna and David

Happy Birthday to two of the biggest blessings in my life, my husband and best friend and also my lovely daughter. They share a birthday! (You can check out Anna's birthday post here
I have many reasons to be grateful today for these blessings God has put in my life...
166. for Anna's sweet nature
167. her willingness to help
168. her beautiful piano playing
169. her love for the Lord and our family
170. her continual smiling face (every family needs one sunny disposition!)
171. for my husband and how hard he works for our family
172. His love and faith for our Lord
173. He is a great dad
174. He is my best friend
175. He has made me laugh every single day that I have known him (since we were 16) even on the worst of days he always makes me laugh, what a gift that is.
Happy Birthday to you both! I love you!

Memorials

About a year ago, I had a conversation with a friend about homeschooling. She asked how I was able to get everything done. I admitted the simple truth: I don't do all the things I would like to. She then asked me, "How do you sleep at night?" It was an innocent question, asked by a woman who knows how this job of motherhood is never ending. I answered with a heartfelt reply, about how I really had to trust God for sleep. We ended our conversation and I did not think much more about it.
However, that night in bed, when sleep eluded me again, I immediately started thinking about all the things I did not get done, all the ways this child or that one needed to improve. I was pondering about how tired I always seem to be, and how there are so many of them and just one of me. I discovered that I was not able to sleep that night because I let anxiety rule.



In the light of day, it was easy to reign in my thoughts and give them to God. It was a warm spring day after a bitter Michigan winter, so all eight of us were able to escape to the park across the street. I was watching my children; my fourteen year old nephew playing spies with my eight year old, the two older girls were entertaining the little girls, and my eldest asking if he could take a walk with me so we could talk. (A sixteen year old boy who wants to talk to his mom!) Sunshine, laughter, and everyone was having fun. I was intensely grateful, and the anxiety of the night was gone.
I thought of all the memorials the Israelites built. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and Joshua, they constructed altars or memorials to God. This day was such a blessing, a memorial that I needed to write down and come back to. The sun will not always be shining, we won't always get along , and the hard days will come. When they do, it will be so easy for me to forget the wonderful ones, and difficult to forget the not-so-good.

It is so easy to look at the mess around you, the bad attitudes, the things that never seem to get done, and to forget all the good God has done for you. So simple to focus on what is not important, and all those thoughts that matter to the world, but shouldn't be vital to us.

Lord, help me to remember the memorials you put before me, help me to be grateful and to see you in everything.

Today I am thankful for these memorials:

148. A wedding picture on the wall that reminds me of 23 years with my husband

149. Baby pictures in the hallway

150. Rocks from the beach where we have vacationed for 12 years

151. Pictures of my sister Julie

152. A folder filled with cards from friends

154. Shelves of great books I have read to the kids

155. Recipes written by the hand of a friend or relative

157.Pictures on my screen saver, showing a life of friends, family and memories

158. Kids with better memories than me that say "Mom, remember when...."

159. A Bible, underlined and written in, reminding me of all His promises I have held on to


160. the faces that sit around our dinner table every night reminding me of how He has blessed me (He settles the barren woman in her home, as a happy mother of children, Praise the Lord Ps.113:9)


Joshua 4:2-9
"Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests stood, and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight."
So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."
So the Israelites did as Joshua commanded them. They took twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, as the LORD had told Joshua; and they carried them over with them to their camp, where they put them down. Joshua set up the twelve stones that had been in the middle of the Jordan at the spot where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant had stood. And they are there to this day.

Julie

I am not sure if I really want to write this post. Today is not an easy day for me. Four years ago today, my sweet and beautiful sister died in my arms. She was 37, and died of lung cancer. Julie was a non-smoker. She left behind 2 children and a husband. She left me behind too. I never know how to approach this time of year. Do I celebrate her life? Yes, of course, but my mind goes to those last days and it is hard not to think of that. Grief is hard, it does not go away. It changes, but it stays. I often hold grief close to me-not knowing what to do with it.
Julie and I were 2 years apart, and I am the older sister. But we had a special connection, like twins. We were knit together at the soul, and I miss her terribly. She was hands-down one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. Near the end of her life we were chatting about the fact that we would soon be separated, but we always pictured ourselves growing old, eating candy, laughing, and embarrassing our kids together. We did not think it would end this soon. Julie made the comment that although our life together was shorter than we planned, it had been a wonderful journey together, Yes it was. I look forward to seeing her someday and spending forever with her. So today I want to give thanks for the amazing gift of a sister, a soul mate and a friend,

136. She could make me laugh no matter what

137. She was always in my corner

138. She loved my kids and always pointed me to the positive

139. She was the only person I could shop with (I hate to shop)

140. She understood me

141. She was so very funny

142. Nobody could beat us at Pictionary (we had this telepathy thing going)

143. She gave me perspective

144. She was a great mother

145. An amazing aunt

146. A wonderful friend

147. She was beautiful


In Memory of Julie
Photo: 9/2005 on vacation

Seeking Joy

There have been two women that have mentored me on this walk.One is my friend Marty (who lost her fight with cancer two weeks ago) and the other is Sally Clarkson. I have been a fan of Sally for years . Her blog posts and books have helped shape the mother and woman I am and hope to be. I have been reading and savoring Sally's latest book "'Dancing with my Father." As I read, so much of what I am reading resonates with my heart . The book is about living a life of true joy. I often lose my joy, I love the Lord , I read and pray. Life is just hard. It is discouraging. I get discouraged because my own ideals are often different from my reality. I get the most discouraged about motherhood, I love being a mom, I love my kids , but I fall short of my own ideals so often. And let's face it being a mom is hard. So I get discouraged and instead of looking up with joy and hope I keep trudging along. It is these exact moments of difficulty that I want to have joy, that I need to have joy. Not a contrived joy , a forced joy ,but true joy in the Lord. I was thinking about joy this morning. I picked up a copy of “Streams in the Desert” and the page was marked to January , 18. I shared this with my sister four years ago ,about a month before she died. I remember how discouraged she was (she had terminal cancer) she could not summon the energy to go to her son’s birthday party. I read this to her over the phone and she was encouraged , my husband read it at her funeral. The whole devotional was wonderful but I wanted to share the last part;

Defeat may serve as well as victory

To shake the soul and let glory out

When the great oak is straining in the wind

The limbs drink in new beauty,

and the trunk Sends down a deeper root on the windward side

Only the soul that knows the mighty grief

Can know the mighty rapture,

Sorrows come To stretch out spaces in the heart for joy

My sister had her mighty rapture a month later, mine will most likely take a little longer . I want to take all that comes the little irritations, the hurts, the grief , the disappointments and let them stretch out spaces in my heart to be filled with His joy.

My list continues.......
126. Sunshine
127. Great books
128. Birds at the feeder
129. The encouragement of these words -Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you...(John14:27)
130. Quiet mornings
131. Lunch with a friend
132. Early morning chats with my husband
133. family dinners
134. encouraging words
135. watching two little girls play dress up - the ensembles they come up with are quite amusing!

Multitude Monday

Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. 1 John 2:6



I received word this weekend that a woman who is very dear to me is losing her battle with cancer. When we moved to Kenya in 2000, I met her. This dear woman, mother of ten children, was a mentor to me. I was a new missionary, homeshooling two young children and I had a new and very fussy baby. She encouraged me and the other moms by her kindness, gentle words, and help. I have always said "I want to be Marty when I grow up!" I am so far from it! I have been praying for her and remembering all the special memories I have shared with her. I made a list of the qualities I saw in her, the things I want to be. I realized through Marty I was seeing Jesus. I want to be like Jesus , and I want the fruit of His spirit so evident in me as it is in Marty. This morning I am driving with my dear friend Pam to see Marty. I want to hug her ,tell her I love her and let her know how much she has meant to me. I know I will not be the only one, she is surrounded by her large loving family and friends who love her. Today on my gratitude list , I want to give thanks for Marty and list the ways I saw her walk as Jesus walked; the ways I pray that I too will walk ....

101. gentle and quiet spirit


102. love for home, family and husband, she is intentional about her love 103. She loves the Lord with all her heart


104. She never came empty handed , she always had a book, a loaf of bread , a word of encouragement


105. She always had time to talk, she is a great listener. Her words of advice and encouragement would always point to Christ


106. She pours her life into relationship


107. A diligent worker for her family


108. A compassion for the needy


109. She always spoke the truth with love, she could tell me something that may be difficult to hear but coming from Marty it was gentle and kind


110. She loves beauty and brought it into her home and life
111. She has a willing heart, she was willing to mentor us...


112. Her heart is full of gratitude and praise

Considering the great love of the Lord

Whoever is wise , let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord. Ps.107:43

I sit here in the early morning desiring with all my heart to heed these words, to consider His love. Yet in the busyness of life I often forget.....so I am thankful for this opportunity to give thanks and consider.....



91. His love for me by blessing me with five children (me, who was barren)

92. His love for me by giving me wonderful women in my life to encourage me

93. His love for me by giving me a godly upbringing (as crazy as it can get with family sometimes, my parents did bring me up in a christian home)

94. His love for me in giving me my sister, Julie ,for 38 years, as much as I miss her and grieve her , I always thank Him for her

95. His love for me by saying " No " to so many things I asked for , things I thought I needed.

96. His love for me that He works all things for my good , everything He brings into my life has a purpose

97. His Love for me in that each day is a new day ,with new mercies that I do not deserve but He so graciously gives

98. His love for me that all this earth is filled with beauty and I get to enjoy it.

99. His love for me by giving me my husband

100. His love for me that even though I fall , He still loves me .

Gratitude

No matter how hard I try to keep life simple and quiet during this season, life seems to get busier and busier. This past weekend I had great plans for what I wanted to do with my family but God had other plans. I spent my morning prayer time complaining/ whining a bit about it all. I realized again, that all is grace and how important gratitude is. Not just when things go as planned but especially when they do not. I know He holds it all in His hands. Here are the things I am grateful for this week....

71. For days that don't go as planned (my usual response it not always one of gratitude)

72. for morning quiet (Help me Lord to be thankful for the noise that will come when all are awake)

73. for the wonder of children when it snows (help me Lord to see the beauty of wonder and not the mess of snow boots)

74. for early morning and late night talks with my teenagers (help me Lord not to inwardly grumble at the sleep I am missing)

75. for a house full of music (help me Lord to appreciate this for someday all these musicians will grow up and move on)

76. For two children born during this season (thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity to relate more to Mary as I think about the birth of my children this time of year)

77. for the piles of books, papers, laundry for this means there is life in this house (forgive me for all the times I complain about the clutter)

78. for the right encouragement at just the right time (For the Lord's ways are perfect)

79. for the wonder and miracle of the incarnation (forgive me Lord for all the times I think I need to make this season magical when You are the season and every season)

80. for a husband who loves me and makes me laugh every single day....

The picture is of Ella, who turns 4 on January 1. I love this picture because her face is full of wonder...( and I think she is beautiful)

Gratitiude

After reading Molly's blog, I decided to accept her invitation and post a gratitude poem. Actually the first thing that came to mind were the lyrics to this song by Rich Mullins. The poetry of his lyrics always touch me. So today I am so grateful for the One who has begun a good work in me will complete it. God gently chips away my fears, doubt, selfishness, and is gently , by His grace hatching my heart. Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving to all of you. You can look at other poems here.

"Well the night was cold and my heart was
Hidden very safely in a shell
But I knew somehow I'd have to run that risk
Have to open up myself
Look at the stars on the face of the sky
They're the same ones Abraham saw
Come under my wings I will make you shine
Give you strength enough to love

Oh now I'm getting strong enough
You helped me chip my way out and open myself up
And for the snow that comes with winter
For the growth that comes from pain
For the joke I can't remember
Although the laughter long remains
For the faith that brought to finish
All I doubted at the start
Lord I give you praise for all that makes
For the hatching of a heart

Well my face was smooth and featureless
Just like an egg
And if I was moved you would never guess it
By the look upon my face
But You said man looks without but I look within
I can see the love you hide
It's a matter of doubt it's a symptom of sin
It's a problem of too much pride

And I now I'm opening up wide
Wet feathers pulled out from beneath me
And You're teaching me to fly
For the strength that comes with friendship
For the warmth that comes with hope
And for the love time can't diminish
And for the time love takes to grow
And for the moonlight on the water
And for the bright and morning star
Lord I give you praise for all that makes
For the hatching of a heart

And for the moonlight on the water
And for the bright and morning star
Lord I give you praise for all that makes
For the hatching of a heart"

The Hatching of a Heart, Rich Mullins

Gratitude

Be praised for all Your tenderness by these works of Your hands
Suns that rise and rains that fall to bless and bring to life Your land
Look down upon this winter wheat and be glad that You have made
Blue for the sky and the color green that fills these fields with praise

And the wrens have returned and they're nesting
In the hollow of that oak where his heart once had been
And he lifts up his arms in a blessing for being born again
And the streams are all swollen with winter
Winter unfrozen and free to run away now
And I'm amazed when I remember
Who it was that built this house
And with the rocks I cry out...........
The Color Green...Rich Mullins

I am so grateful for beauty today.....

Gratitude

The oldest and the youngest

A kiss from Ella

Running in the Park

When I wrote the Wendell Berry quote last week, I did not know I would be so quickly tested. My mom was still in the hospital and my Dad was admitted also. Two parents in the hospital, a 3 hour drive to help them , no Julie by my side ( I know she is in heaven praying for me) Fatigue, stress, etc. And yet.....there is beauty in ashes and above all I know God is good.
This week's list.....
61. A beautiful fall weekend
62. time with Anna (she went to help)
63. Praying friends
64. Both parents home from the hospital
65. Dinner out with friends
66. The laughter, noise, and mess of a family of 7, especially after the days in the hospital
67. Loneliness that drives me to Christ
68. Blogs that encourage, there area few women that encourage me daily and I have never even met them!
69. Watching my girls jump in a pile of leaves, I swear it was just yesterday that my two oldest did that!
70. Beauty

Gratitude

Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts. Wendell Berry


I have been pondering the above quote. I tend to have "anticipatory" fatigue and stress when I consider what is ahead of me on any given week. I am determined to laugh, and be joyful no matter how busy my life may get. I want to live in and enjoy the present moment and be joyful. This is my list this week.
of houseful of really wonderful teenage boys (it is so fun to feed boys)
52. A walk with Anna
51. Feeding
53. Autumn beauty
54. Six weeks of homeschooling and I am still not behind! (this is a big deal)
55. Improved health for my mom
56. Encouragement from other women
57. Laughter
58. The Lord's mercy to send the right book, post, or word at the right time
59. a little boy's soft heart after a hard day of stubbornness
60. stretch jeans (too many fun size candy bars!)

Gratitude

I did not think I would take the time to post my gratitude list this week. I returned exhausted from a stressful weekend taking care of my mom in the hospital. I was feeling overwhelmed , with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was missing Julie (my sister who died 3years ago) desperately , wanting her with me as I dealt with all the problems. Not to mention worrying about , my own five children at home three hours away. I have spent all day trying to catch up. I was thinking , in the midst of this day, these hard moments , is exactly when I need to be grateful, to express gratitude to the One who upholds me and blesses me with His grace. So here is my list for this week.....


41. The opportunity to help my mom
42. The long hours in the waiting room , time spent with my Dad that I never get normally with five children running around
43. Friends that pray, call, support and make me laugh
44. A wonderful husband who scurried around so I could come home to a clean house
45. my own bed
46. His mercies that are new every morning
47. nurses and doctors who care
48. a meal that is not out of a hospital cafeteria
49. the beauty of fall
50. quiet

Gratitude

31. a difficult day that pushed me to pray more
32. a walk alone on a windy fall day
33. the smell of applesauce cooking
34. unexpected house guests and the good conversation and food that went with it
35. cider and donuts at an old country church ( a family tradition)
36. good friends around the table
37. laughter in this house
38. music that fills this house
39. 4 weeks of homeschooling completed and we are not behind yet!
40. teenagers- I really love and enjoy my teenagers, they are my good friends

Gratitude

1. The smell of autumn
2. Picking apples with the kids this week
3. A walk with David today
4. I am so thankful that we have had a few weeks of homeschool and we are not behind yet!
5. Laughter around a dinner table
6. Improved speech for Ella
7. Autumn recipes, soups, breads, apples and pumpkins, I love this time of year.
8. A hard heart softened by God's grace
9. A quiet Sunday to enjoy
10. Friendships

Gratitude

1. The quiet of a rainy day
2. Ella singing at the top her lungs while swinging
3. Michigan peaches
4. Kindred spirits -especially Kathy
5. Tea with a godly older woman
6. Laughter
7. A weekend alone to pray and plan for the new school year
8. A full nights sleep ( I have had a string of them!)
9. Running with Anna
10. David

Gratitude

The Christian is the one who, wherever he looks sees God everywhere and rejoices in Him.....

I am joining Ann at Holy Experience and starting my gratitude list...

1. Early morning quiet
2. A weekend spent with Anna, we went to see Phantom of the Opera!
3. All seven of us around a dinner table, together again
4. Great stories ( many read alouds at our house right now)
5. Laughter
6. Davis' music
7. The green of summer
8. Walking down to look at the beauty of Lake Michigan with David
9. Watching the little ones run through the sprinklers, their delight and remembering all the times I did that with Julie
10. And speaking of Julie, I am so thankful for the 38 years I was able to be her sister.
(photo: a view from our bluff)