Lay down your burdens

It is early morning and I am tired and frustrated. I have spent the last two nights tossing and turning unable to sleep. I keep worrying about all kind of things. My life is busy right now, my oldest three are in a musical and the next three weeks consist of late nights and long days of rehearsals. I have many details to work out, a messy house, and unfinished home school lessons. I chatted with a lady yesterday who told me her family had completed all their home school lessons and would be done next week. That immediately made my heart sink. That is not our reality here at the Brown home school. I worry about changes ahead , my eldest has one more year of high school, we have been talking about colleges. I want with all my heart for him to do what God wants for his life, and I also want with all my heart for him never to grow up! Church changes, relationship changes, loneliness, missing Julie. I toss and turn in bed , running things over in my mind. Like some mental hamster wheel. Worry, prayer, worry , prayer, lay it down , pick it up. What seems manageable in the daytime seems overwhelming at night.
So I get up and make a cup of tea and read Isaiah. The verses I have underlined and read over and over again. It is an often traveled path.

In repentance and rest is your salvation
in quietness and trust is your strength (Is. 30:15)

Surely this our God, we trusted in Him and he saved us (Is 25:9)
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you (Is 26:3)

There are so many more verses. Often at times like this I long for a quiet space , I want to freeze frame my life and have a space of time to think, order my world. But I never have big chunks of time and life is always like this. I want to leran to find peace and joy in the midst of this season and the many seasons that will come. These verses encourage me and bring my focus where it needs to be on Him. I may need to read them again in 10 minutes.
So I will rest, and trust and lay down these burdens. I will keep coming back to these words as many times as I need to and I will pray.



Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child
Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child

Cause I can walk on water ..
Calm a restless sea
I've done a thousand things you've never done
And I'm really watching
While you struggle on your way
Call on my name, Ill com

I give vision to the blind
I can raise the dead
I've seen the darker side of hell
And I've returned
I've seen those sleepless night
And Count every tear you cry
Some lessons hurt to learn

Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child
Lay down your burden I will carry you
I will carry you my child, my child
-Amy Grant

Silence

Grant me Lord, to hold fast to what is good by the power of your love. Preserve my every word and act that corrupts the soul, and from every impulse that is unpleasing in your sight and harmful to the people around me. Teach me what I should say and how I should speak. If it be your holy will that I be quiet and make no answer , inspire me to be silent in a peaceful spirit that causes neither harm nor hurt to my fellow human beings. Father Sophrony

This is a prayer I repeated several times today.....today was a day I would not want to repeat. But by His mercy God gave me this difficult day with hard hearts, arguing, and complaining to help me to grow. I am praying for a quiet soft heart and mouth. To pray before I speak. I make a Gratitude list , but shouldn't days like today be on that list? Days that stretch me and drive me to my Father's arms in prayer? So Thank you Lord for today ......help me to remember that all is grace.

I have been reading a lot about slowing down this week , thinking and praying about how I can be more intentional..... so I lit some candles, made dinner and listened to Fernando Ortega , one of my favorites. This song seemed to fit with my thoughts ...


Find me a place on the earth
Where a weary man can rest
And listen for your voice
In the turning seasons

A quiet place in the world
Where I can bow
And confess that I fear
Where you have brought me,
Mysterious God

All of my life
You have been with me
My comfort in loneliness
My hope in the dark
All of my life
Lord, please stay with me
Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

My days are passing by
Like falling stars
That blaze across the night sky
Then they are gone

But Father, at your side
I will never be afraid
For you have held all my days
In the palm of your hand

All of my life
You have been with me
My comfort in loneliness
My hope in the dark
All of my life
Lord, please stay with me
Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

All of my life
You have been with me
My comfort in loneliness
My hope in the dark
All of my life
Lord, please stay with me
Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart


A Place on Earth -from Storm,

Praying for my children.....

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints - the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven. . . For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God. Col. 1:3-4, 9-10


I have been reading Colossians for a few days now, I am always struck by the strong love Paul feels for his "children". He is always encouraging and praying. I am struck by the first verses, when he thanks God for the good he sees in the church at Colosse. I have strong love and passion for my children, but often when I pray for them it is not to thank God for the good, or the Christ I see in them. I start my laundry list of things I see that need changed, attitudes and behaviors I want God to develop. I worry over them, my thoughts filling my mind and prayers.


I noticed also that Paul prays simply for God to fill them with the knowledge of His will. Actually he says, "I have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will." I have been thinking about this.


The time I spend worrying, thinking and talking about (or to) my children seems to be more than the time I spend praying. Once again I use too many words. I want to start my prayers with gratitude and thanksgiving for the Christ I see in them, the little victories on this journey. I want to ask God to give them the wisdom to discern His will, and then I want to be silent and trust Him. For their Heavenly Father knows what they need. He knows how to grow good fruit more than I ever will. I also want to spend more time praying, not talking. So instead of launching into a lecture, I need to be silent and pray.


These are the goals I am striving for:

Gratitude

Silence

Prayer

Prayer before words

Thanksgiving before supplication.

Silence and trust

Praying for Hope

My heart has been heavy this week. On every side of me, people I know and love are hurting: broken dreams, strained marriages, hurting souls. I have had more than one person say to me "I feel hopeless," or "I am so discouraged," or "I feel my world is turned upside down." These are big hurts and hard situations. In addition to this, there are the the daily worries of my own household: a child's behavioral issues, another child who is afraid of death. As I sit and listen to people who are dear to me pour out their hurts, I feel like anything I could say is inadequate, mere words. I want to rush in and offer solutions, a way to fix things. So I say humbly "I am praying for you," and I really mean it, but it seems to fall short. I guess we live in a "fix-it" society. We want answers. We want solutions, and we want them now. I saw an advertisement on the back of a car that said something like "Get Rid of Your Phobias Now or it is Free!" That is want we want something quick and painless.

Solutions. I even pray solutions. I could spend all day asking God to intervene with my solutions, my answers, my "fix-it nows." God heal this person, soften this heart, etc. I was pondering all these thoughts this morning as I was praying and reading. How do I pray for these situations that are hard and never seem to change? What hope can I offer? These words always come to me in hard times , words I have said over and over in times of trouble.... "

You are good and what you do is good. Psalm 119:68

I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord on the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:13, 14

I lift my eyes unto the hills where does my hope come from, my hope comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1, 2

To say you must have hope is good but it falls short. Hope is not something you can make your self have. It is a gift. Hope is a gift and we need to ask for faith in the One who gives us this hope.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

He is the one who gives hope, so maybe what I need to pray is that God will give the gift of grace, hope, and faith. To point to the One who gives these gifts. Also to point to joy. Our whole world can fall in around us but nothing can rob us of the privilege of praying and placing our trust in the one who works all for our good.

Many times I look at a situation and wonder why God is not doing something to change it. Why does this all have to be so hard?? I was pondering that this morning and this is what I read:

Habakkuk 3:17-18
17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

The question comes to me, "Can you sing His song?" In the midst of all that robs us of joy, can we rejoice?? Everything in this life is grace.... He works all for our good. He is God and His purposes will stand (Is. 46:9,10) His mercy and grace are new every morning. His love never fails. These are the words that bring hope. These are the words we need to remember as we fix our eyes on our Lord. We will not be consumed. These are the words for which I need to pray, and of which I need to speak. They can do so much more than any solution I could ever offer.

Lamentations 3:19-24 (NIV)
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion : therefore I will wait for Him.