The Seed

I am the seed

So small, so dry,

Lifted in the hand

Of the silent Sower.

Into the earth

I fearfully fall,

Darkness covers me,

Silence surrounds me.

The terror of my heart

Is the only sound

To keep me company.

All that is me

Huddles together

Trying desperately

Not to surrender

Any part of the self.

“Why was I planted?”
I cry out.

“Why am I here?”

I entreat.

“Take me out into the light;

I cannot bear

This deathly dark.”

I weary. I weaken.

The days become long.

I can no longer fight.

I surrender

In this lonely place

Of waiting.

Quietly I sense

A penetrating warmth;

It surrounds me;

It fills me

And blesses my pain.

In a moment

Of peacefulness

I forget my fear.

I let go of my self

And suddenly

The husk that holds me

Weakens and breaks.

“No!” I scream.

I am losing my self,

But it is too late.

The husk is cracked;

I cannot be contained.

It is then

That I sense a power

Deep inside of me,

Encouraging me,

“Let go. Let go. Let go.”

It is an energy

That pushes the husk

Until it falls away.

As it slips aside

My eyes behold color.

Ah! Can it be?

A tiny glimpse of green!

“How could that be?”
I marvel,

“There was never green

In the heart of me.”

Yet, it is there;

Each day

It slowly stretches upwards

To where the warm

Seems to be.

I become less of a seed.

I am losing my self.

But the pain I once knew

Is lost in surprise;

Something wonderful

Deep within my heart

Is greening and growing.

Days go quickly now.

I become one

With the small stem of life.

Oh! The glorious moment

When, ah, breath of Spring

Fast fills my face.

I move through the hard earth

And taste the world which awaits my arrival.

From within my tender shoot

Comes a soft sound.

I listen. I hear.

It is a song to the Sower:

O Sower of seeds,

Did you always see

The gift of green

That was hiding in me?

O Sower of seeds,

How came you to praise

The beauty within

That I hid from my eyes?

O Sower of seeds,

The husk has been broken;

All praise to you

For helping me open.

Accept now my praise

My thankfulness, too,

For the seed you have sown

And the gift you grew.

May you lead me to others

Who await your good word,

So the seed within them

Can awaken and be heard.

Amen! Alleluia!

-Joyce Rupp

Fasting from food is not the only way to hunger. I hunger for God when I empty myself of my own agenda, ideas, and strength. I learn to die, to let Him put me in the darkness and let him grow me into what He wants me to be. I often hunger for God, but grab the first thing that glitters as an easy way out. It is hard to wait to be filled, so I feast on food that does not satisfy.

Is 55: Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest fare.

I need to wait and listen, to be still and let him fill me...

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. Is.30:15